Controversy for Sheffield Wednesday as Suspected Pitch Invader Scores Late Equaliser

Sheffield Wednesday may have considered themselves lucky to achieve a draw after last night’s less-than-thrilling display away at Portman Road. Yet the manner of the goal has lead to controversy, following accusations that the scorer may not actually have been a recognised Wednesday player.

Sources from Ipswich Town suggest the club may raise questions with the Football League: ‘It happens in the 86th minute. Wednesday look set to make their second substitution when this bloke runs on with a badly-fitting kit and a massive smile on his face. He looks nothing like a football player and moves nothing like one either, but somehow he manages to stay on the pitch for almost ten minutes before heading in their second.’

But the goal was rightly given, according to Wednesday, who claim the so-called ‘pitch invader’ was actually Atdhe Nuhiu, a striker who has been with the club since 2013.

Nonetheless, Ipswich Town remain unconvinced:

‘They’re trying to claim they’ve got a 6ft 4, international striker whose been with them four years, made over 140 appearances and scored less than 20 goals? And that the last time he scored for them was in the 2015/16 season? That’s nonsense. That’s the kind of rubbish you’d read on a bad satirical website.’

The Football League have yet to issue a full statement, but representatives have expressed some private concerns:

‘The real problem for us is the evidence Sheffield Wednesday have provided on his behalf. He’s got a different hairstyle in every picture they’ve sent, for one thing. Then there’s his nationality. Apparently the guy is Albanian, Austrian and Kossovan? It’s like they can’t make their minds up.’

Footage of an ‘Atdhe Nuhiu’ supposedly playing for Wednesday has similarly failed to convince:

‘If you look at the player in these videos, he’s clearly wearing a blue and white striped home shirt. That’s a Brighton strip. Sheffield Wednesday don’t play in a Brighton strip. Sheffield Wednesday play in an Ipswich strip.’

Finally, appeals to the Sheffield Wednesday fanbase have also backfired:

‘Yes, we did hear from fans claiming the individual in question is a recognised player for the club. The problem is that none of them seem to recognise his name. We’ve had some calling him ‘Nye-hoo-ey’ and others calling him ‘Noo-hoo’. One sounds like a takeaway dish and the other is clearly a character on The Teletubbies. Right now our sources suggest he’s far more likely to be a South Yorkshire football supporter called ‘Dave’.

However, the club have made one very strong argument for the legitimacy of the player – and the goal:

‘Go on then: if the guy genuinely isn’t one of our players, how’s he managed to get his hands on a 2017/18 replica away strip in November? Everyone knows they won’t be in the Megastore until June.’

Further investigation of the case is pending.